séances, parenting and other ramblings…

In the last week I have attempted to communicate with the “other” side, wondered where I have gone wrong in parenting and have tried to get my summer traveling plans finalized for me and the child…

Last Saturday I went to a meetup group event, a séance. It was not what I considered a usual meetup event but it was entertaining and apparently I did get to connect with gramps. On threat of death, ha, I cannot share the audio but when I listen to it, I wonder how the fudgecracker did she know that?!

At work things have gotten better because we are fully staffed now, things at home however have gotten worse. I get that the teenager years can be tense but the stress levels between us is very difficult to deal with. The grades are way down and their lack of motivation to work on it in earnest is the root of most our tension and then add their social issues. I am at a loss on how to help them. The school is of no use in regards to the bullying that the child will not cop to and I can’t prove. However the bullying was relentless in middle school and I do not believe it has just stopped. We live in a small town. I have set up an appointment with a therapist so they can talk to a third party. They won’t talk to me and I can’t sit by idly and watch them be miserable.

Summer plans are still in the planning stages. I think the kiddo would benefit from a visit to my family. It might help ease her stress to feel the warmth of family. The child is open to it as long as I do not go as well. To their defense we do spend A LOT of time together. We are also looking for college programs for them to participate in.
As for my own summer plans? I have narrowed it down to SanFran, Seattle or Chicago. I want to check off my new years list of going somewhere I have never been. My biggest concern is traveling alone and being safe.

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Last month ramblings….

As it turns out my immune system is at an all time low. In the last three weeks I have had the flu and today it was determined that I have bronchitis. I would not be surprised if every time I leave my desk at work it is not sprayed with Lysol. I don’t blame them though.

I had my review in the last week. It was positive for all intents and purposes. It lacked enthusiasm with all those involved but I can settle for lukewarm for now. I like what I do for a living and where I work for the most part. I have no desire to search for a new job but I am hell bent on getting my CPP certification.

SAT’s are stressful and I am not even the one taking the test. I can’t believe so much importance and pressure is put on performance on ONE test.

My mom went to the hospital yesterday. The results are not in but considering her past with heart issues they admitted her. Here’s hoping she doesn’t sign herself out. She is a horrible patient, ha. I am thankful she does not live alone. It could have been a lot worse if my sister had not found her. It is stressful to be so far away when things like this happen.
I miss my family but I love my privacy more. That might sound selfish but it is true to how I feel.

I am scheduled for vacation for in July. My brother now lives an hour north of San Francisco and I am aching to go visit. I have no interest in staying within my brother and cousin’s bachelor pad paradise. I would stay in a hotel for sure.
So between July 24th-29th I would like to visit one or two of the following places….Suggestions for sightseeing is welcomed…
San Francisco
Chicago
Toronto
Seattle
Somewhere in Oregon
Vancouver

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6 things I have learned from oldest child….

Writing Prompts from Mama’s Losin it:

1.) Write a blog post inspired by your family pet.
2.) Tell us about a prank someone played on you or vice versa.
3.) Share an Easter inspired recipe or craft.
4.) List 6 things you’ve learned from your oldest child.
5.) Open a blank blog post and “right click paste” in the body of the post…what was pasted? Explain it.

Six things I have learned from my oldest and technically my only child:

1.)Letting go is hard to do but necessary for their personal growth.

2.)Shit happens despite our best efforts to keep shit away. You can’t protect them from everything.

3.)Discipline that works for one kid does not work on another. Advice is great but take it a big grain of salt. Listen to the advice but do what YOU feel is best.

4.)Consistency is vital to building a respectful relationship with your kids.

5.) Chores/Rules need to be implemented as early as possible otherwise it will be an uphill battle to enforce them later on.

6.)Long commutes home are a God send when teenagers are in the home and in the past 2 weeks I have contemplated getting a dog. It would be nice to have someone happy to see me when I get home.

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Sunday stealing…The 17 meme

The Seventeen Meme
Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we also have our rules. First, we always credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim’s post. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) We do sometimes edit the original meme, usually to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, sometimes to select that meme’s best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from either this new meme or recently asked questions from a prior featured meme.
Let’s go!!!

From For The Adventure

The 17 Meme

1. Do you know triplets? Nope

2. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? Notebook…I like that they ended up together

3. Have you ever eaten Indian food? Yes and did not like it

4. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant? I do not really have one

5. Who’s your favorite person in the world? My kiddo even if I am the bane of her existence at this stage of our relationship

6. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? Rural, out in the middle of nowhere

7. Can you whistle? No

8. Do you sleep with a nightlight? Sorta, as provided by the town of where I live

9. Do you eat breakfast every morning? I try to

10. Do you take any pills or medication daily? Yes

11. How many times have you been to the hospital as a patient? Yes

12. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? Yes

13. Where do you buy your jeans? The Avenue

14. What’s the last compliment you got? Six years

15. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? Yes. I write them down

16. What flavor tea do you enjoy? Does Snapple count? I love Snapple apple

17. What social media sites do you use? facebook,meetup

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If/Then review…(spoiler if you have seen a movie with a similiar plot)

Today I went with one of my meetup groups to see If/Then musical with Idina Menzel. A great performance by all the actors involved. They are all very talented. My only quip would be that I have seen the storyline before in a little movie called Sliding doors.
It is a musical worth seeing even if the plot is not exactly “fresh”.

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Looking through the past…

A couple of weeks ago I signed up on ancestry.com. It is a great website and a time suck as well. I have had the blessing of having met some of my great grandparents and know the names I need to look up and places they might have lived. The downside is that anything that happened in Cuba has stayed in Cuba unless they immigrated to the U.S. or any other country. No records directly from Cuba are available AND many records from NJ are not public either.

What I have learned so far…

On my dad’s side: My great-grandfather married his sister-in-law 20 years after his first wife died in childbirth. He left his son in the care of his wife’s family and found success in Cuba and eventually called for his son to go to Cuba where he met his long-lost sister-in-law, about 20 years his junior. They courted, married and had three children, one of which is my recently departed grandfather. Only one of their children survives, the eldest that lives in my hometown.
It turns out my family surname originated in France and at some point we were apple farmers. My great-grandmother is one of three children and had a brother who was mute. My father and his family immigrated to the U.S. after spending 3 months in Spain and landed in JFK on February 17,1966.

On my mom’s side so far: My great-grandfather is one of nine children. I am not sure how his parents met. There was apparently an inheritance in Spain that no one ever claimed. My mom’s dads family come from a long line of law enforcement. My grandmother’s mother died during childbirth and as a result my grandmother was nursed by one of my grandfathers aunts. I apparently drive by every day to work by where my mom’s mothers dad is buried, he died when I was 4.5 years old. My grandmother has a sister that we are not sure if she is still living but it is believed she settled somewhere in California where if she is still living would be in her late 70′s. It turns out that one of my great grandmothers brothers turned out to be a murderous delinquent in NYC.
My mom and her family immigrated to the U.S. on a freedom flight into Miami, FL but headed to NJ believing it had better opportunities.

There is much more I have learned and still processing. Some of it boggles my mind and reminds of how small the world really is.I am starting to see a pattern of behavior emerging from both sides and look forward to unwrapping more of my family tree.

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Advice my mom gave me…

http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/blog/

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Pinterest inspired!
2.) Advice your mother gave you.
3.) A blog post inspired by the word: gold
4.) I love this idea of an art journal, try it (or have your child try it) and share your creation!
5.) 7 things you overheard this week.

5 pieces of advice my mom has given me:

“My mom is full of relationship advice and it all tends to end up the same: Men are not to be trusted.”(I get it considering her experience but I refuse to believe all men suck. I believe for every good woman out there, there is a man to match.)

“Always know the last name of a man you sleep with.”

“No child should have privacy in your house unless they pay rent.”

“Karma is real, just look at your Dad and step-mom. They deserve each other.”

“Get it together.Life is too short to be miserable.”

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