Heart break

My grandfather died and I will have to travel for a few days. It still does not feel real. I can’t imagine a world without him. Every time I think of him it breaks my heart.

He was a great man. A man who would do and did everything he could for his family. He loved his family as we all loved him and encouraged every one of us to be the best US we could be. He valued hard work and education.
In my childhood home he had a wall with all his children’s degrees. He saw education as the best way to improve your life. Without him who knows where I or my siblings would be now. Where my dad failed my grandfather excelled.

I regret not being able to say my goodbye with the rest of my family this week. I will be there this weekend to be as close as possible to my grandmother.
I had to think what would grandpa do? I reason with myself that he would not want me to skip the first days of school or have kiddo skip their exams this week. I still feel like an asshole for not rushing down for the wake after all he has done for me. I’m so sorry.

Eventually I know the pain will be a little more manageable but now it feels like the pain will never get better. We all have to be strong for my grandmother. If we break down, she will break down. He would want us to take good care of her. My grandmother has just lost her life partner of over 60 years. Her life in an instant is unrecognizable and she will have to find a new “normal”.

I miss you and will always love you.


3 thoughts on “Heart break

  1. I’m sorry to hear the news. 😦 I will be thinking of you and your family. Take care of yourself, ok? *HUGS*

  2. I am so so sorry. I have felt the pain of that loss. Now 13ish years later, it isn’t at the front of my mind anymore but I still think of my grandparents so often. They are special people in our lives, and I’m glad you were able to enjoy yours for as long as you have. My heart is broken for you.

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