I have been divorced for twelve years and have dated for about seven of those twelve and have not found the “one”. Are my standards too high? Am I looking in all the wrong places? Am I looking at all?

Through a conversation with the teenager I realized they don’t think I have really dated since their dad but they do think I should date and that it is about time. I tried not to laugh on the outside but was definitely amused on the inside.

I made a promise to myself when I got divorced that there would not be a parade of men coming in and out of our lives, more specifically my child’s life and that I would not have a handful of children from different men. Apparently I have been able to do just that. However since she has not seen me with any man, including her dad(we separated when she was a toddler), has she missed out on a relationship model?
When I think of my criteria for a relationship, I think upon on my own experiences and the example of my parents, grandparents, etc..

I have found that when I least expect it “love” kind of finds me, that in the course of doing what I like I find people of similar mind-set, and that actively looking is, for me, forcing along what should come naturally. I will not find my partner sitting at home, but I do not think I will find them by specifically looking either.

I will continue to do what I love and hopefully along the way find someone who likes to do those things as well. It has been twelve years, what is a couple of more years, right?


2 thoughts on “Dating

  1. I look forward to the day that I can say I’ve been divorced that long, so this whole “scarlet letter” of divorce on my forehead will finally fade.

    I don’t think your standards are too high, they’re standards for a reason. I can speak for myself when I say my standards are high, but that’s because I’d rather not settle (again). I’d rather be single, than settle for something that won’t really make me happy. Of course, I’m not looking for a Ken doll or even perfection. I’m looking for the opposite, actually. I want someone with REAL life experiences, who has learned from them and didn’t just sweep everything under the rug and move on.

    My mother did not date at all for many years, and I have a lot of respect for her in that regard. I think you’re doing everything the right way, but more importantly, the way YOU feel is best. You’re in charge!! 🙂

    1. My grandmother used to say, better to have been married and tried and failed then to never have tried at all. There is no more shame in getting divorced. It takes strength to recognize when something is not working.

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