I have found that as an adult it has been hard for me to find and maintain new friends. I tend to hold on for dear life to the old ones.
As recently as yesterday I realized there are people who I should hold onto despite an occasional disconnect(life happens and priorities shift as they should after a certain age) and there are others that are not worth the effort.
Let me explain…A friend that I have had from HS and we are polar opposites in how we project to the world. This difference is what I think makes us work. Our lives have unfolded the same but just on a different timeline. I had my family young and hers started at an older age. Our children will never have play dates. Heck mine could babysit hers, the age difference is that big. She is worth holding onto because where I operate through life by emotions she is more practical and tends to ground me in reality when I need it most.
Tomorrow I have a lunch meeting with a friend I have not seen in a little over six months. I get the sense we went through a silent falling out. But I also gather he has been going through some changes in life. He is private about his life changes until the dust settles and then he tends to reveal the details. I am on the fence about our status. There are pros to keeping him, not to mention the length of time we have known each other. There was a time when we were very close. We have had our share of ups and downs. Our strong suit has always been our ability to talk freely and honestly.
Then there is this friend I met long ago who I have only met in person once. There was a time we talked all the time and then times where the silence between us was deafening. We recently reconnected and within a month we were back to our old dynamic, which I was never a big fan of.
I am a mother by trade so if you share a problem, I am inclined to try to help find a solution. As a mom it seems like a constant juggling act of putting out fires wherever they arise. I am not in the business of putting up with the dramas of grown ups who never seem to get their shit together. I always lend an ear to a needed rant but if after a couple of times you come back to the same issues, get a therapist and be flippant with them not me.
Am I being unreasonable?
I wonder if middle age is just making me a cranky old lady.