The new year is a time I usually find myself kicking myself about the would have’s, could have’s or should have’s. This year was different in that I found myself reflecting on what I have lost in 2013.
In January it was my abuelito which reverberated throughout most of the year. Not until my trip to Florida in August did I start feeling a sense of acceptance.
I have also realized that I am not as focused in school as I should be to be successful. A hard truth kept wriggling its little head: the timing is not right to be in school. There was/is no life or work balance that best incorporated school success. I have a job that is stressful and requires long hours. There is also the need to focus on my family of two. With working long hours and the rest of my free time focused on school, time at home was not where it should be. Sure the child liked the “freedom” but with that freedom and lack of supervision came a lack of their academic success. In a year and a half the child will, God willing, be off to college and then and only then will I reevaluate going back to school.
Another thing I have noticed needs a little TLC is my social connections. Every time the child goes with dad I find myself at a loss of things to do or people to hang with. I have dusted off my meetup account and made a commitment to go to at least one meetup group activity a month. I have taken inventory of my current friendships and have realized those connections no longer work for me or them.
My resolutions for 2014 are:
Focus on family life.
Work on building meaningful connections with other adults.
Live my life on my terms, not on others expectations.(after I figure out what my terms are)