It may be too late…

I am a woman of a certain age that has yet to find her true love. I spent my 20’s avoiding commitment on the heels of my failed marriage. It was a traumatic enough experience to make me weary of any that came my way promising to be in it with me. I rejected the idea outright.

In my 30’s I have wanted commitment but found none willing to make said commitment with me. And now as I approach yet another decade I have little tolerance for anything less than what I want. I have spent the last twenty years figuring it out on my own and being in control. I have not always made the best decisions but they were my decisions/mistakes to make and learn from.

I wonder if maybe I have been single too long to make a relationship work. Is there such a thing as a statue of limitations on being datable? How do I find the balance?

When I found myself divorced with a kid at 23 years old I made a vow to never have a revolving door of men. It did not mean I would not date but that I would be mindful of the strength of the relationship before introducing them to my child. She met three men in the last twenty years. One was head over heels for me and even proposed, but I was still marriage shy at the time. The second was not sold on pre-existing children. The third one was the longest one but never showed an interest to take it further than what it was.

As I have gotten older my requirements have changed to the following:

Passion was important years ago, but nowadays compatibly is more important.If I am lucky I might find one where both criteria are met.I have to be attracted to you but we need to be able to hold a conversation as well.

They must also be gainfully employed.I have a job, I don’t need their money but they need to have their own as well.

At my age I am weary of a man who has never been married or have had kids or still lives at home or lives with roommates. He needs to have developed survival skills and have had to put someone else needs before his own at some point in his life.

Have a good relationship with their family and not hold onto grudges against their parents. They need to have gotten to a point in their life where they accept the fact that their parents are/were human and make/made mistakes.

I do have a two kid maximum and preferably with the same person. I have zero tolerance for multiple baby mama drama.

Am I being too demanding?

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6 thoughts on “It may be too late…

  1. My best friend has not had any relationships since here ex husband many years ago. I know she would like one but it just hasn’t happened. She’s told me what she really wants is someone with some common interests so they could have good conversations and do things together. She’s looking more for companionship. I don’t think what you want and expect is too much.

  2. Ugh, it really is getting more difficult! Just do what I do and keep looking and keep your head up. I figure he’s gotta be out there somewhere, right? Or so we hope 🙂

  3. I do not believe it’s ever too late. There is absolutely no statute of limitations, don’t be so hard on yourself. Keep your standards and don’t change them, the right man WILL come along. I don’t think there is a thing wrong with your expectations, they’re very realistic in order to find a mature man! While it may take a while (because most of them haven’t grown up even if they’re older), I think you’re better off to wait than to settle. Take it from someone who has been there… too many times.

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