On the way home I decided to take the first step to being healthier, I signed up for the gym. I was lured in by the marketing of no commitment. It was not true but it is a lot cheaper than other options so I signed up. I am looking forward to getting healthy.

My aha moment? Not the fact that I can’t fit in the seats at the movies or that I have become invisible to men. It was not even that people in general treat you like you are not worth shit. It feels like people think that by making you feel bad about yourself, your weight that it will somehow motivate you to get up and just lose the weight. It is not how it works, it is not how any that of that works. It actually does the complete opposite.For someone like me who eats her feelings, feeling worse adds pounds not reduces it.
A co-worker had related a story to me of their aha moment being about getting to the point of not being able to tie their own shoes. I am way past that. I now only buy shoes I can slip on. My own aha moment was Friday morning trying to put on my fat jeans and ripping them as I attempted to put them on. I refuse to purchase a size 26 pants. Yes, I am size 26 even though I fit into a size 24 depending on the brand of jeans or the cut.

I pledge to myself: I will not die due to being fat. I will take happy pills if I have to to keep me motivated even though it kills my sex drive. I pledge to try this baby step for at least three months and reevaluate my options at that point.
Baby steps are better than no steps at all.

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