As I was looking at an old picture of me and cousin G it reminded me of how he leaves me feeling worse after having spent time with him

The picture was of me and him (a bad selfie) after we had had Applebee’s by his place. We look pretty good for our age. Despite us being the same age he has no job, no significant other, no kids, no responsibilities that typical 40 somethings have. He lives at home with his elderly parents, more specifically their basement.  My dear cousin has plenty of opinions about others and how they live their lives and is not shy about sharing them. I recognize it as his way of dealing with the disappointment that is his life. His berating of others is how he feels better about himself.

Sometime last year between March and April I started making an effort to reconnect with him. I felt that reconnecting with him would help me reconnect with a part of me that I lost during adulthood. After first it seemed to be working but then all the connections were negative and I felt my worse self around him. Negativity gets old rather quickly.

I love you cousin but preferably in small doses.

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