After a long drive weekend I embarked on yet another one but with a better purpose. I was able to spend some quality time with the kiddo. A couple of things I have realized, she is no longer a kid and she is not quite yet an adult. To live and observe too much disables your ability to move forward. My kid for better or worse is an avid observer but not much of an executor. She has little faith in her capabilities to do stuff so she defers to others but then complains we control her life. Since she defers to us to make decisions we in essence do control most aspects of her life. Fear of failure seems to hold her back. My hope is one day she sees failure not as a bad thing but as an opportunity to learn things about herself or of things around. I will find it difficult myself to move forward until I feel she is ready and able to take care of herself. The worry sometimes overwhelms me and I am sure it does her too.
Another random thing I learned in the last couple of weeks is that I wait for no one. I refuse to not do something just because I can’t find others to do them with. I have wanted to get to Toronto for years. For various reasons, mostly financial I had not done so. Two weeks ago I bit the bullet and made the trek. In what would take most people eight hours it took me roughly twelve hours to drive from northern New Jersey to the Pearson airport area. A few things I had not taken into account before embarking on my journey was the cell service situation. Even though it is the same continent it is still in fact a different country and so it is silly to assume your service will work there too. About fifteen minutes from my hotel I lost GPS signal and all ability to make calls. I should be happy I made it as far as I did. Thankfully I had checked ahead of directions and made good mental notes to get me to the general area of my hotel and my general good sense of direction. The other thing I had not anticipated was my need for frequent bathroom breaks. Age does really affect your tolerance to sit in one position for long periods of time. I also wished I had paid closer attention in science and math class as a kid to better understand Fahrenheit/Celsius conversion or the kilometers to miles thing. It would have made trip less confusing.
Project reconnect with my facebook fan base is a work in progress. So far I have met up with an old co-worker, and two old blogger friends. I want to only have people on my facebook that I actually know and have met at some point. I do post a lot of person on there mostly for the family so if you are able to see my pictures and stuff I want to have had met you at least once in my life. There is still one person I have yet to meet in person but attempts have been less than great. Like I said, a work in progress.
The old co-worker was a lady from my first job in NJ and the last time before last we saw each other was randomly as we waited for the bus to get home. I installed messenger and we made plans. It took three months but finally our schedules worked out and we met at a local panera bread. It was a relatively pleasant thirty minutes of my life, maybe forty-five. We caught up, took some selfies and were on our way. We had some distance plan to do it again but who knows.
The first blogger friend was my Canada contact. We met almost a decade ago in another incarnation of my life blog where I kept things pretty personal. Once that blog went down we migrated to facebook friend status. After many failed attempts, mostly due to my financial situation we made it so. She met me at my hotel after I lost all GPS capabilities and could only connect via the free wifi from the hotel. We had a nice dinner, took a selfie and I spent the rest of my time roaming Toronto alone. I am pretty resourceful and got around pretty easily.
Today I met up with the second blogger friend that has migrated to facebook status. We had met in person about eight years ago when I moved back to NJ. We had made plans since Wednesday that kept falling through but today we met at a local starbucks and talked for a little bit. It was nice but something was off and not necessarily in a bad way just off. I am glad there were not many awkward silences just at some point talking in circles. A nice person though.
I do love traveling and I think I will do more of it going forward. I just hope my car can take the abuse and survive the winters.