When I was a kid the holidays, especially Christmas, was happy and exciting time of the year. My maternal grandmother, Mima, would cook quite a feast and both sides of my family would convene at her three bedroom house. The kids would run and play and laughter, music and happiness filled the small place.
As time has gone on they have become less festive and more solitary. This year in particular is the least Christmas I have felt in years. It could be that I am far from my extended family. It could be that the holidays have started with two funerals in the last two weeks, or that I am rethinking my role in an otherwise shitty year that has been 2016.
January 2016 started with a great party at a good family friends house. She is someone I met through my best friend from high school and in the last eight years she took me in and treated me and my kid like family. Toward the end of January I made a road trip to see my grandmother before she died and celebrate the birth of my new nephew. It was bittersweet.
February 2016, my maternal grandmother died. I regret I could not making it to her service. I took comfort in that I got to see her before she died and she saw me and we spoke.
March 2016, the financial situation took scary turn.
June 2016, was relatively good I guess. I got to spend time with kiddo for our respective birthdays. The highlight of the time between March and June.
July 2016 I went to a family wedding. It was a nice break from the financial gloom.
August 2016, little did I know it would be the last time I would see my family friend. We saw a movie at her house and had a nice meal together.
October 2016, I did my first paying gig as a tarot card reader. It felt so natural. I did really well and helped many people. I had not read tarot for others since I was in high school. It didn’t hurt that I made good money as well. Since this I have been quite connected to spirit.
November 2016, my family friend had a stroke driving from work to home. Unfortunately she was not found in time and slipped into a coma. She was in a coma for about seven weeks before the family finally decided to take her off life support. She held on for 11 days.
December 2016, my cousins husband lost his battle with colon cancer. This week my friend that was holding on died and yesterday was her funeral.
Today I go and try to have a merry Christmas.
For the last week of December I hope to get through unscathed. On Tuesday I go for my second lung CT scan. Here is hoping the rest of 2016 improves.