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According to Sarah

Mama Kats Writing Prompt – How parents met

Writing Prompts For 02.11

1. How your parents met.
2. List the top 10 YouTube channels you’re loving most this month.
3. February 11th is National Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day. Write about a time you could have cried over “spilled milk”
4. Write a blog post inspired by the word: pink.
5. Share a favorite Valentine’s Day tradition
6. 8 people/places/or things you’d like to give a virtual Valentine to

My parents met during high school. Legend has it that they met at a dance and my dad and a best friend noticed my mom right away. As it turns out the other guy never had a chance since  my mom was partial to dark haired boys with pretty eyes. They had a physical attraction that propelled them into holy matrimony. All their dates were chaperoned but rumors are that some of their dates were better supervised than others. When my great grandmother was on duty all stayed up to code but when my aunt tagged along, not so much. My aunt(mom’s younger sister) could be bribed for her silence and to look the other way to certain things.

My parents never really enforced such strict dating rules with us. To be fair we never really brought anyone home to meet the parental units. I was married and divorced before  my dad ever met my now ex-husband during an unrelated family matter. In a little over twenty years they have met one official time. How times have changed indeed.

When my parents were courting they had certain requirements to be able to date from their own parents: they had both had to be Cuban, be within the same age group, have been vetted by the family pending a review of who their respective parents were, and most importantly all dates had to be “chaperoned”. Back then it was unthinkable to date outside of your “group” and it also mattered what part of Cuba they came from. The idea of chaperoning was to avoid any shot gun weddings but ultimately a teenagers hormones drove them to creative  ways to find a loop hole that rivaled the fear of getting caught.

My parents met in High School and were married longer than anyone had expected them.

 

Grief

People tend to process grief differently. I tend to try to find things to do to distract me from the pain. When my grandmother died on Friday I took a couple of hours to compose myself and then headed into work. My co-workers that knew looked at me like I was cold and bizarre. I stayed at work long enough to get my desk ready for someone to cover me the following week and left and did yoga. Note to self: Yoga is not for me.

Friday night I was the hot mess that I was trying to avoid being earlier that day. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up on Saturday and took a painting class. In the last two years I have come to realize that painting relaxes me.

My mother informed that there would be no service for another couple of weeks  until  grandma was cremated. My job had given me a week of bereavement so I am tasked with finding what to do with myself since visiting family this week is not an option. My mom and aunt were going to work come Monday as if nothing happened. How did I find out my grandmother officially died? My ever warm mother texted me. I find that odd, even for me. Who the fuck texts a death announcement??!

I digress.

Tomorrow I plan on going to a mass and lighting a candle for my grandmother. I need the closure and to pay my respects in some way.

Sunday Stealing…Carry A Tune

Carry A Tune Meme

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we try to credit the blog that we stole it from. We also provide a link to the victim’s meme in our “Previous Victims” widget. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) Sometimes we edit the original meme, to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, to select the best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from this new meme or recently asked questions from a previously featured meme.
Cheers to all of us thieves!!! 

Carry A Tune Meme

Do you own a tablet of any kind? What’s something people always assume about you that isn’t true? 

I do not own a tablet. People assume I am sad but I am just not much of a smile person but it is not indicative of my mood.
On a scale of 1-10, how much do elevators scare you?
6 but it goes up the higher the elevator goes. I am worried mostly about the possible drop.
When you’re upset, do you vent to people or do you keep to yourself? 
It depends on what has me upset. I do generally keep it to myself if I am mostly upset with something I did.
Have you ever watched a meteor shower? 
No
Do you tend to put things off until the last minute?
I used to but now I see life as being too short to have to revisit shit I could  have finished the first time around.
How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you? 
Sometimes. Not all reactions have to be bad.
Do you have a lucky number? 
I have a favorite number, 5
Would you go out to dinner with Oprah? 
I have never seen her appeal.
Did you ever play sports? 
I was the score keeper in soccer in High School. I played once when my grandparents surprised me at a game. My coach felt compelled to showcase to the only “parents” to come see their kids play.
Do you feel guilty if you throw food away? 
Not really. I am not a big leftover person. I have mastered the art of making food portions for two.
Do you think you could make it as a baker? 
Absolutely not. I hate baking.
Are you one of those people who are wearing scarves with everything? 
Absolutely not. I am that person who wears t-shirts in cold temps because I am always hot.
Have you ever been in a castle? 
Yes in England, and NJ
When you were little, did you ever play with Playdoh? 
Yes and it made a great snack,, haha
Would you rather write a mystery or love story? 
A tortured love story
Tell me about your worst fashion mistake: 
My whole wardrobe
Do you hate it when people smoke around you?
Yes but I rarely say anything
How are you wearing your hair right now? 
In a loose ponytail
When’s the last time you were sick? 
Last week
Would you rather have OJ or milk with your breakfast? 
Orange juice because milk upsets my stomach
What were you doing thirty minutes ago? 
Sleeping. I went out this morning and after dinner I got a migraine
Do you own any school related clothing articles? 
No
Would you rather call people or have them call you? 
Have them call me.
Can you carry a tune? 
Not even if my life depended on it
Who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you? 
My female friend from my gaming group
Who do you text the most?
Kiddo

Mood interrupted…

In the last couple of weeks I have worked on faking it until  I felt it. It is not working and the feeling of “happy” still alludes me.

A quick update of my life is as follows…I went to visit my maternal grandmother and my extended family in Florida. The timing was great in that kiddo was here and one of my younger sisters was having a baby and the time off was approved. Due to budgetary concerns I drove down instead of flying. The downside was the wear and tear on the body and car but the upside was that I got to see more people and could pick and choose my departure date. The last part being particularly helpful since the week I was set to return a blizzard was on its way toward where I live. In my haste to out run the storm I got a ticket in some backward part of Georgia.

I got to see my grandmother probably for the last time alive, if the concept of being alive is breathing. She will be transferred to hospice soon. It is comforting that I know she saw me at least once and we whispered a conversation where she confused me for one of many siblings. I feel great to have seen her and “talk” to her. The last time I saw her prior to this was two years ago. It was a shock for me to see her in her condition. By all other peoples accounts what I saw was an improvement. I was a little salty after that encounter. The day I drove back I stopped by the hospital to say good bye. I  would like to believe she saw me but she was having her dialysis treatment so I am not 100% convinced. I am not sure I am strong enough to see her when she dies. I have to make an appearance for my mom, but fuck it is going to be hard.

My paternal grandmother is healthy as a horse much to her disappointment. She wants to die. She is physically healthy but her mind is not as clear. I worry about her because dementia and Alzheimer runs on her side of the family tree. Her mother had it and her brother had it too. I worry that the family around won’t be sensitive to that. After my grandfather died three years ago I saw a side of my dad’s side of the family that gives me chills and probably Grannie too.

I stayed with my dad and viewed in plain sight the unhealthy dynamic my dad and his wife have. She hates us all and he lets her run her mouth and insult and alienate his family. In their minds he is the victim of his children’s indifference to him. She baby’s him and he loves it. She is the mouth piece of that relationship but he is pulling the strings.

My relationship with my mom and assorted siblings is complicated. I want more of a relationship but less of the drama. I have yet to figure out how to separate the two.

This week I found out an honorary uncle(my dad’s childhood bestie) who had mental health issues died due to an altercation with cops. I am not sure why it has bothered me so much. It has been a while since I had seen him and the last time we had any contact was his commentary on some of my recent facebook vacation photos. I guess it hit home that you never know when is the last time you are going to have contact with someone. Make sure all contact with those you care about count.

I am hoping life starts to look up soon. I trying to look for things to distract me and get me out of my funk. Happy comes from within and my hope is that while I am doing the things I have historically liked that happy feelings will find residence in me again.

 

 

Laundry Meme – Sunday Stealing…

Laundry Day Meme

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we try to credit the blog that we stole it from. We also provide a link to the victim’s meme in our “Previous Victims” widget. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) Sometimes we edit the original meme, to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, to select the best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from this new meme or recently asked questions from a previously featured meme.
Cheers to all of us thieves!!! 

Laundry Day Meme

Do you know any couples that have been married for a very long time? 

Yes. My High School bestie has been married since 1999 but with her husband since 1992.
What are you tired of people telling you?
That I have a pretty face for a fat person.

Which type of ice cream do you prefer? 
Vanilla. It is plain and adapts to whatever you add to it.
Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? 
I have three little sisters. One’s name starts with an E, another with N and last with an M.
What was the last movie you watched on TV? 
Sweet Audrina
If the internet was not available right now, what would you do instead? 
Read a book. I do like reading but have not found anything interesting to me. I am open to suggestions.
Do you complain a lot? 
Depends on who you ask.
Name a movie that your favorite actor is in. 
Forest Gump
Do you like your toes? 
I have the “family” toes. Like would be a stretch but at least I know I am not adopted.
Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? 
Ancient temple. It technically would be haunted with the history of its origin.
Have you ever had champagne? Did you like it? 
I am not  big fan of champagne
Are there any seashells in your room? 
Nope.
What was the reason for the last time you went outside? 
Work.
Do you like fruity or minty gum? 
Fruity. I miss those gums that had a filling in it.
Are you looking forward to any day of this month? 
Payday
What was the last graduation you attended? 
My kiddos high school graduation
Do you rummage through the $5 movie bin at Walmart every time? 
All.The.Time.
What day of the week do you usually do laundry? 
Some random during the work week. I hate the idea of laundry being an obstacle to enjoy my weekends
Do you like using air fresheners? 
Yes and no.
Are your nails ever painted red? 
Nope. It always feel like it looks like my hands and feet are bleeding
When you were a baby, did you have a favorite blanket? 
Nope
Ever been on a cruise? 
If the recent work related christmas party counts or if the NYC circle line tour counts. Otherwise that would be a no.
Would you rather go to Alaska or Russia? 
Alaska.
Strawberries or bananas? 
I like both but if I had to choose I would pick bananas
Are you wearing socks? 
No but I wish I was. My feet are cold
When’s the last time you went to the mall?
Sometime in the beginning of January. It was so the kiddo could use up a christmas gift card.

Adult children…

In the last month I have had the kiddo with me. They were on winter break. As of yesterday roughly around 8pm I am back to living alone. I am conflicted about that.

There was a bit of confusion of what day and how long she would stay with me. To be honest I was happy at the prospect of any time spent no matter how long or short it was. There is something to be said about living alone but I missed having her home. For months I had heard stories of how miserable she has been living with dad and going to school. I was hell bent on being her refuge and for a while I was. I also came to realize that I might part of the problem. I have come to wonder if my inability to not let go is the reason she has not learned to truly advocate for herself. My desire to help might have hindered her inclination to find her own solutions. I have found myself repeating tirelessly that messing up is not exactly failure but an opportunity to come up with a better solution going forward. How can you learn from something if you always get it right the first time?

It seems to me that the parents to the semi-adults of today have taken such care in making sure their child succeeds that we have taken away their ability to see the big picture and appreciate that not all stumbling blocks and/or obstacles are a bad thing. Critical thinking is sorely missing in many young people today.

When did the idea of consequences to our actions take on an insidious feel in society? When did being in survival mode translate into being without a phone and not being connected ALL THE TIME? I remember a time before cell phones, and recess and going to play out in the neighborhood until sunset without constant parental supervision. It was not any safer back then but with less technology it certainly felt so. We knew how to survive and be mindful of our surroundings and strangers. We had to play with others and make eye contact, hold conversations, and knew our neighbors.

I realize I am rambling on about the perks of days gone by versus how it is today and I hold steady in my belief. But I also realize that if we as parents really feel that way why have we not continued with it today with our own kids? In our quest to give them “better” than what we had or think we lacked back in the day we have inadvertently have also taken away survival skills in the world today.

Sunday Stealing -Feisty Twenty-Five

January 23, 2016

Feisty Twenty-five

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we try to credit the blog that we stole it from. We also provide a link to the victim’s meme in our “Previous Victims” widget. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) Sometimes we edit the original meme, to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, to select the best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from this new meme or recently asked questions from a previously featured meme.
Cheers to all of us thieves!!! 

Feisty Twenty-five

Do you like to see it snowing outside? I  love to see it snowing but the shoveling? Not so much.


Do you tell your family you love them enough? It never seems enough. I traveled to FL to see my maternal grandmother before she dies. They say she has improved and the thought of what she must have been like before gives me the shivers.

Do you like getting jewelry or do you not wear any? I am not a jewelry person. I wear earrings at best.

Do you watch a lot of NFL football?Absolutely not.

Have you ever used the word ‘lame’? No

Are you/Were you in a band? If so, what was your band name? Nope

When is the last time you went to the doctor? November 30th.

Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No

Would you ever go to Japan? Absolutely. I wish the opportunity presents itself.

What was the last thing you went to Walmart for? Shower curtains.

Ever gotten in a car accident? Yes. I got in one when I was in HS. Once in a very bad neighborhood and 8 years ago getting onto the main highway near where I live.

Have you ever been in a choir? Midnight mass when I was a kid.

Do you like the color of your eyes? If not, what color would you want them? My eyes are dark and I am ok with them.

When was the last time you went ice skating? Two years ago

Do you like to brush your teeth? Yes.

Have you ever had a surgery? After I had my baby.

Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Younger. Most people are surprised to know I have a 19 year old kiddo.

When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? Never

Where did you spend your last birthday? Joe’s Crab Shack

What is the last show that you watched a full episode of? Married at first sight

Do you know anyone who lives in Utah? Yes

Is there anything you need to work on doing soon? Lose weight or die

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Sometimes

Do you, or do you know someone who has taken karate lessons? Yes, my HS BFF’s daughter

Were you ever a boy or girl scout? I tried and sucked at it.

Sunday Stealing – Why do you want to know that …

 January 9, 2016

Why Do You Want To Know That Meme, part three

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we try to credit the blog that we stole it from. We also provide a link to the victim’s meme in our “Previous Victims” widget. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) Sometimes we edit the original meme, to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, to select the best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from this new meme or recently asked questions from a previously featured meme.
Cheers to all of us thieves!!! 

Why Do You Want To Know That Meme, part three

50. What do you spend most of your money on? Food and shelter

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? Future. I want to make sure everything turns out ok.

52. Favorite clothing store? The Avenue

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? Get out and do something. Sitting around and thinking about what is making you feel down does not help.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? I worry about what the future holds and it scares me to not know how it all turns out. So I get out and do stuff that hopefully helps shape the future in a positive way or helps me forget those things I cannot control.

55. What angers you the most? Passive aggressive behavior. I recognize it others because I am guilty of it too.

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? I plead the fifth

57. When was the last time you got really sad? When I saw a video on facebook of my grandfather telling a funny story.

58. Are you good at lying? Sometimes.

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? French

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? English and Spanish and elementary level Portuguese

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? I don’t do parties that require getting dressed up because my wardrobe won’t allow it. Instead I go to a lot of informal outings.

62. What books do you plan to read this year?For this month….The Memory Box

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? I try

64. Tell us a secret. Nope.

65. How many concerts have you been to? Two. A Bon Jovi concert and a Victor Manuelle

66. Last hug? Kiddo

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? Not at this present time. There has been times in life that those people existed though.

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? Not at all. It is one thing I don’t like about myself. I can’t complain about not getting a promotion when I don’t put myself in the position to be an option.

70. What song is stuck in your head? Cake by the Ocean.

71. Countries you’ve visited? Canada, Spain and England

72. What do you most value in your friends? Sincerity.

73. What helps you to sleep better? Benadryl

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? 1,000

75. What makes you nervous?The unknown.

The 2015 Year End Meme

The 2015 Year End Meme

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we also have our rules. First, we always credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim’s post. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) We do sometimes edit the original meme, usually to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, sometimes to select that meme’s best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from either this new meme or recently asked questions from a prior featured meme.    Let’s go!!!

The 2015 Year End Meme

From the archives!

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before? I traveled to a place I had never been and knew no one. I have lived alone for the first time in my life. I have realized that ending some out of date friendships is not the end of the world.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I will have to make new ones.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My sister is pregnant and should give birth soon. A good friend is also pregnant and another sister had a baby a year ago today.
4. Tell us a valuable lesson you learned in 2015? I matter too.
5. What was your favorite new TV program? Ash vs The Evil Dead. It is corny but fun to watch.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015? Love. Someone that loves me for me and is not required to by law. Someone who appreciates who I am.
7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June 25th. It was the day kiddo graduated High School and June 10th, it was the day I turned 40.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Realizing I matter too. It is easy to get consumed by being the mom, the sister, the friend and lose sight that you too are a person and have needs too. This year I have been able to explore what makes me happy without the guilt.
9. What was your biggest failure? My work life balance.
10. What was the best thing you bought? A new car but it has also been the scariest. The car payment struggle is real.
11. Whose behavior merited celebration? Undecided
12. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted? Too many too choose. Undecided
13. What song will always remind you of 2015? Love you like I’m gonna lose you and see answer to #18
14. What do you wish you’d done more of? Save money. It seems like something I have yet to master.
15. What do you wish you’d done less of? Waste time on people that don’t appreciate me.

16. What was the best book you read? I read a lot.
17. What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?  Ability to meet new people and find activities that I enjoy.
18.  Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Lyrics from  Of Mice and Men song, “Never giving up”

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